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Brambles
Humour !!!
Who Said Love Had To Make Sense.
This page is intended to take a light hearted look at Marriage!
Some of the jokes may be slightly risque so if you are easily offended, please do not read the jokes section.
Jokes
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical
good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want
and at what time I want-and I don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a
great dinner to be on the table
unless I tell you that I won't be home
for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want
with my old buddies and don't you give
me a hard time about it. Those are my
rules.
- Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.......... whether you're here or not."
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. - She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
- "what took you so long
to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. - He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling
his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.
One night, they go to a party. - The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
- He shouts at the
top of his voice, "Shall we go home
'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.